Marketa, part 2: Leaving heroin after the death of my friend

Still locked in my past. No awareness of trauma. The urge to use heroin. To try it. Yoga exercise after the first dose. Then several attempts to get drug free. Interesting experience for several months but then it was the same, stereotypical. I need to change my life totally. My friend died after sniffing heroin. And it was the last impulse for me. I flew to New Zealand. Spent all my money. Desperate. Then I hitchhiked and a a guy took me to his farm. He was ex-junkie, ex-criminal, ex-dealer. And I lived with him for three months. He was a kind of a shaman. After leaving the farm, it was definitive. And there was also the ayurveda teacher. He explained me that I can reach those positive experiences of drug even without the drug. The feeling that you cannot stop using, it is illusion.